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Drinking and chugging there's nothing in between I'm Clive Martin your guide to the dark heart of the UK club scene in the last episode we found ourselves caught in the middle of a gun finger fight at DMV night in reading for our next adventure we went to hang out with the most malign subculture of all students it's easy to write off the British frat boys and sorority girls as terrible people, but maybe there's more to it than founder pie nights onesies and 90s classics I headed to a Cardiff University Sports Society party to try and ascertain what this lifestyle is all about and to find out if I was a legend or a shit lad of course there was only one place to start the PRE lash the budget prologue to any night of hard drinking to win their trust I was forced into an initiation ceremony of source I was to drink something called a dirty pipe in a set amount of time which I now can't remember thank God my fourth it was just a disparaging chance you're with my bruised ego and blue tongue in tow it was time to get out of the trenches for the Battle of the lash we were off to a club called retro which claimed to be the home of the 90s vibe whilst I couldn't find any pictures of Kurt Cobain or lady die on the walls I have to admit there was something authentically tacky about the place it was clear this place only really served one purpose getting really fucked up for under a tenner evidently I wasn't really going to understand what was going on without a stomach full of Ties to juice and that 90p yoga bomb I wasn't going to have any trouble in achieving that finally I felt sufficiently lashed up to hit the dance floor the first thing you notice on dance floors are clubs like this is that the music is an entirely secondary experience the night was soundtrack for those 90s classic that you used to hate but when alcohol and boredom come into play you'll find yourself losing your shit too um Bob the DJ is not a God at a student bar they tend to either be bored locals of a few service station compilations or bedroom dubstep producers doing it for some extra money still I was impressed by this one I mean how many other DJs can spit bars when they're in the mix much like all the most intense electronic nights this isn't Dancing designed to get your dorm buddy for the night moves like this look more like rugby league celebrations and something in Soul Train it's no secret that students like a drink I mean who can blame them but when you're faced with this level of consumption it's genuinely quite disturbing I got the impression that these people would reach the kind of event horizon with their drinking it just all seems so grim I suppose when you're fucked you're fucked but whatever happened to elegantly wasted or just a little turn up it seems their obsession with getting as many drinks in before closing time as you can as rendered us all the worst drunk in the pub annoying desperate infantile still when in Rome do as the Romans do and if that involves...
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